At Your Age...

This is me at my age

At your age...this is something that I have been hearing when I go to the eye doctor since I turned 40.  I am 42 now and I am still hearing it.  Last year I was told I need bi-focals and every time I read a tiny label with my eyes squinted so much you would think they were shut, I rejoice and do some kind of happy dance in my head and I am chanting take that Dr. who needs bi-focals now.  Really what about my age?  Being in my 40's has given me a new kind of confidence that I have never had and I am not really sure why. I survived my awkward teen years and my 20's were all about having fun and trying new things while my 30's left me to think about all I had done so far and wonder what else should I be doing with my life and did I make the right decisions and now in my 40's I know there is more for me to do but I don't worry so much about mistakes and I am good with everything I have done so far. But being in my 40's took me a little to get comfortable with.  I blame it totally on hearing "at your age" over and over.  I have never felt like I was getting old and leave it to the ol' body to remind me that time is passing and things are changing.  I guess it all comes down to taking care of yourself and that is what we are trying to do.

I often wonder what kind of person I would be today if I didn't have my kids. They have taught me patience and the joy of celebrating the little things.  My kids have taught me to not sweat the small stuff.  So my boy tosses the bread out of the grocery cart and on to the road as we are leaving the store and my girl can't find her favorite top and it just might not ever be found, it is all good.  Having my girl first and then my boy with Down syndrome I didn't realize that some of the milestones she was reaching so eloquently, could be so hard for my boy.  We learned to cherish the little scoots he might make across the floor or the fact that now at the age of 7 he is finally pretend playing.  You find yourself not realizing you are missing something until he does it and it is suddenly something you long to see again and again.  My girl being my first child she reached most of her milestones early and potty training was something I think she taught herself, no but seriously it was easy for her and she was trained before she turned 3.  My boy has to work really hard to learn all the things that come so easy for most kids and he has his sister to help and support him.  At one point she had a box of goodies to help him with his letters and colors, which he knows by the way.  He is lucky to have her and he knows this but he still treats her like a sister, you know how brothers treat sisters, they pick on them until they can't take it anymore.  He loves to get a reaction from her and he just can't stay out of her room.  Yes he loves his sister so much he just can't leave her alone.  I love to see this kind of interaction between them because it is normal.  So much of what everyone else calls normal is not our normal.  We don't understand why people watch a show straight through without rewinding to hear their favorite part again and again.  How about all the various noises  that you encounter everyday that is so common for most and we absorb it all in.  This day to day noise is just to much sometimes for us.  Why is all this noise normal?  You walk into a place of business and you are immediately hit with the noise of the loud speaker paging someone for help and then there are people talking, a child squealing with delight and music playing over the loud speaker non-stop.  Lots of noise and this is just one place we go into.  All this can cause my boy to go into some kind of meltdown.  Just thinking about the chaos that surrounds us daily is making me a little edgy.  I do like the quiet of my home and that is where you will find me most of the time. 

My sweet M who came and played today

I had a friends daughter over today and realized that we create our own annoying sounds that I have been able to tune out for the most part.  E has a guitar that plays Dora and he takes that with him in the car, non-stop playing.  My friends daughter was kind enough to be honest and say I think that is starting to bother me and it suddenly brought the music into my range of hearing.  Yes, yes that is annoying I am so sorry.  Then when he watches TV he rewinds and plays only the songs over and over again.  She kindly brought this to my attention.  Poor thing.  E does make a sound sometimes when he is out of sorts and things are not balanced for him and it is non-stop,  I can't seem to ignore this sound.  It wears on me like loud speakers going off all day long.  I can't escape it. 

This is what we wish for right now...RAIN

I thought you would miss me talking about the weather so here I go...It is 111 outside today.  It is amazing to me that each day that it gets hotter than the day before I find myself wishing for that cooler day of 106. I know crazy.  Our grass is ugly now but I have managed to keep my plants alive.  My girl has soccer practice today at 5:30 and as a parent you wouldn't let your kids go outside and play in these temps, but soccer well that is a different story I guess.  She has been drinking water all day and she has been stretching to prepare for what lies ahead for her.  Maybe instead of talking about the heat I should switch gears and only talk about rain and snow.  I don't know we shall see, but at any age this weather is HOT.