Lessons Learned

Sometimes opportunities for us to teach our children valuable lessons come at strange moments when you least expect them.  As a parent you really have to be on your toes and be willing to run with this opportunity when given the chance.  It seems like we are having a lot of these moments lately and sometimes I hit a home run with my message and most of the time it takes several takes for the message to sink in. 

This weekend I was presented with the opportunity to show my boy the importance of sharing.  I loved getting this moment because he is starting to share his food and drink with me and he is so proud when I tell him how nice that is.  But when presented with the fact that he had to let another little boy enjoy looking at this really neat train at the store while he was enjoying it proved to be a little to hard.  My boy decided that no he didn't want to give this boy space and decided to nudge him back just a little.  He was sending a message as politely as he could that you are not welcome to look just yet.  The boy was a little stunned by the fact he was just touched and asked to move back and I quickly jumped into action.  Funny how you never have time to think about how you are going to handle these moments; they just happen leaving you wondering later could I have handled that better?  I quickly told my boy that no we don't push and that you need to tell him that you are sorry.  My boy did indeed sign sorry still leaving the boy with this confused look on his face.  So I quickly explained that the motion that he just saw meant that my boy was indeed sorry.  Even though he signed he was sorry he wasn't quite ready to share the space with this boy and the other little boy at this point decided that maybe he didn't want to share the space with him either.  We eventually did leave kicking and screaming.  Lesson learned, probably not yet.  But I am so excited that we are in fact having these moments because it means that we are interacting with others.  We have a lot of work to do in this area but we are getting the opportunity to practice. 

Lessons for my girl are more about responsibility and character.  This weekend was a weekend of soccer and fun in the big state of TEXAS.  These weekends are always so fun in the fact that you get to stay in a hotel with the soccer team, see family, and eat at different places...the hard part is coming home late and being just plain exhausted.  The trick here is school is the next day and she has to leave the house around 7:35 when in fact she just wants to lay in bed and not get up.  Her big question is why do I have to go?  Because this is a lesson to be learned.  School is her responsibility it happens every Monday-Friday just the same as a job would when she is older.  She is expected to be there regardless of all the fun and lack of sleep she might of gotten over the weekend.  We want to teach her to be dependable and to follow through with her responsibilities because this is where it starts.  This one is not coming easy to her when she is tired but I know she is a girl of character and will get this message loud and clear someday when it matters most.  Lessons taught -2, lessons learned - still working on that one. 

Quality Time

I know that lately I have been a little more on the serious side of things and really that is not like me.  I opened the lid to my thoughts and feelings and ended up sharing more than I thought I ever would.  If you know me I am not one to share my feelings and I guess it takes starting a blog for it all to come flowing out. 
If everyone doesn't mind I am going to get back on track with where I originally thought I was going to go with this blog and that is simply sharing my kids and family with you.

This week has been a slow week when it comes to our schedule in the evenings.  We have been able to be at home two nights in a row.  I know that doesn't sound like much but trust me this is huge.  We are a family that works good when we have a lot going on, simply because when things slow down that is when my girl gets restless.  She needs activity.  When she is home she is constantly doing something and if the weather allows she is outside shooting baskets or kicking the soccer ball.  Weather permitting just means that it isn't raining.  Last night we had one of those free nights and both kids were just a little bored.  Somehow me and the kids ended up in my girls bed with the lights out just being silly.  My boy likes to play pillow shuffle and he loves to cuddle in close just long enough for us to get comfortable and then boom he is up and wanting to change spots with one of us.  Oh and he is smiling and giggling the whole time.  Sure this activity was not planned and wasn't by far the most exciting thing we have ever done but I love it when I get a moment like this with the kids.  Someone once told me that it isn't so much about how much time you spend with the kids as it is the quality of time you spend with them.  I was working full time when someone told me this and I totally agree with this.  You have to make the most of your moments and be willing to just go with the flow of things.  Last night I followed the lead of my kids and ended up with lots of hugs and kisses from both. 

Oops I Did It Again

Today his face after getting gluten

His poor face before we knew he couldn't have gluten

I struggle everyday with making sure that my boy does not get any gluten.   He has Celiac Disease and he was diagnosed when he was 5.  Along with having Celiac he also has some food allergies that he should outgrow but I haven't tested this theory in a while.  Some of his food allergies include, rice, bananas, strawberries, carrots, apples...all the good stuff that I was putting in his smoothies and the rice well it is a basic in gluten free food.  So what do I feed this boy?  I feed him exactly what he likes with a few modifications.  I know he has it rough living off pizza, pancakes, smoothies, corn and cheese roll ups.  He really only has a handful of items he will eat and recently we have been able to add grilled cheese back into his diet.  He hasn't eaten this since his grandma would make it for him when he was 2.  But cooking in a kitchen that is used for cooking items that have gluten in it is proving to be a little tough on this momma.  I have an entire cabinet just for his stuff and then there is the pantry for food that has gluten.  The problem I have is with the peanut butter.  I have two active jars of peanut butter.  One is for my boys food and then the other is for everyone else.  The reason for this is he can get gluten from the peanut butter that has had a knife dipped in the jar that was used on bread with gluten.  I mark each jar, one that says GF and one that is not GF and  I even tear the paper off one of them to bring it to my attention that hey don't use this on E's bread and I still manage to contaminate his food with gluten.  Yesterday I made him pancakes and put peanut butter on it and then I used the other peanut butter for my girls food and when my boy wanted seconds I used the wrong peanut butter.  This truly is a frustrating thing for me because my pantry has had four jars of peanut butter in it at one time that I have contaminated.  Yes I am that bright. I was truly hoping that I didn't contaminate him because I just wasn't sure, all I knew was the the jars didn't seem to be in the right place.  Oh that is the other thing, I fix their stuff in different places.  Super careful I am, yet I still manage to mess up.  Today my fears were confirmed with the face rash he gets when he has had gluten and he also threw up at school today.  Could be a virus but I am betting on gluten being our culprit this time.  The only good thing about the rash on his face is that I know for sure that he as gotten gluten.  He can't communicate that he doesn't feel good to me yet and the rash is my proof that once again I did it.  Before we knew he had Celiac Disease his face had a constant rash on it and nobody could tell me why.  We tried ointments and nothing worked until I took him off gluten.  Amazing how that works.  So I am not sure what the answer is I sometimes think we just need to all be gluten free to some extent just so I don't have to worry.  But that would be asking a lot of everyone.  Two kitchens might help me out but then I would have to clean both of them and I hate cleaning one kitchen so that is out.  I need to wake up and drink my coffee because my boy is the one that pays the price.  Wish me luck because I put peanut butter on everything he eats except the corn and cheese roll up and his pizza.  Peanut butter is good on everything and for my boy it is like a spoon full of sugar helping the medicine go down. 

Suddenly I See

Funny thing happened this week and it got me thinking back to when the bubble I was living in popped and allowed me to suddenly see things for what they were.  I am referring to when I finally accepted the fact that my boy had Autism.  See he was diagnosed a year before I even told my family and the reason for this is I truly did not allow this bit of information to form and take shape in my head.  I couldn't even say the word.  I referred to his situation as Sensory Processing Disorder which covered a lot of his sensory issues but wasn't truly his diagnosis.  I don't know how I allowed to live in my own world for so long.  When I told my family my grandma said "I thought he didn't have it"  because that is what I told her and I believed it.  The doctor was very clear about the diagnosis when he handed me copies from a book that I should read.  I read them, but my boy had Sensory Processing Disorder.  I think it was a year later when the doctor repeated some  tests on my boy to check his social skills and his response time to his name and how he would play.  Basically he only responded to his name half of the time and it was with great effort from the doctor and he did not have the skills to pretend play.  There were other signs and honestly they all worried me but he had his diagnosis of Down syndrome and I was sure that it had something to do with that.  After that test the doctor gave me a very detailed report of the behavior he was seeing and referred to it as Autism.  My boy was on the spectrum and with this report in my hand I slowly and cautiously asked him the question that was going to shake me from my safe place.  I asked, "He has Autism?"  The doctor did not look at me with shock it was more of a look of understanding, like maybe I wasn't the first person to be so slow at digesting this information.  Honestly we heard this from another doctor when he was three but he stated that we need to see how he matures because he was way behind at reaching all of his milestones and his maturity level was that of a 12 month old.  The doctor that diagnosed him stated the same thing until one day he didn't. 

So you are wondering what was the funny thing that triggered all this up for me, well I was talking with someone about my son and how the intercom in our store drives him crazy and she suddenly whispers, "he has autism right?"  I thought it was funny because there was no one else around us.  So why the whispering?  This is not the first time someone has whispered about Autism to me.  Now that I am in the place that I am I am not whispering about it anymore.  It needs to be talked about and shared.  I haven't been in this place very long as you may know from reading my blog.  But now I am ready to talk about it and I am not embarrassed by it.  The diagnosis gave us the understanding that my boy isn't going to get on an elevator that is full of people.  What do you do?  You wait for the next one.   I don't understand Autism, I just understand that we don't need to color inside of the lines to have a pretty picture.  Everything we do is outside of the lines and that is ok. 

Adventure Time

So far we have jump-started the year off with some great adventures and I am excited at what the rest of the year is going to bring us.  On New Years we went to the Science Museum in Oklahoma City and I have to say we ran threw it.  My boy is like the Tasmanian Devil when it comes to places like this.  He goes from one thing to the next without even stopping to catch his breath.  The whole museum was a blur except for the train exhibit.  My boy loves trains and once you enter the train exhibit you spend the rest of your time trying to figure out how you are going to get out of the train exhibit without kicking and screaming.  We actually managed to do this very carefully by distracting him to a a bigger train that was just outside of the exhibit and then we were off to other things.  I know we missed out on a  lot of things and I am afraid my girl is the one who missed out the most.  We did split up but we still were running threw it and I think it would be very interesting to see us on the security camera.  No need to fast forward us.  Needless to say the rest of the day me and Denis were exhausted and pretty much done. 

Not all of our adventures need to take place in a museum and in fact some of our best adventures are the ones we stumble into.  Last Saturday my girl had  soccer friendlies in West Tulsa; she had two hours between games which allowed us time to eat and find us an adventure.  Denis took us to Chandler Park and down by the Keystone Dam.  What we found was a beautiful view because the park is up on a huge hill and an adventure just wouldn't be an adventure if we didn't throw some trains in there somewhere.  We hit a train crossing on a very deserted country road.  My girl is a follow the rules kind of girl and that is what I love about her, but she constantly worries and questions her parents when it comes to following the rules.  I don't consider us to be rule breakers and really we walk a pretty straight line so I don't know where this comes from, but she was a little worried that we were supposed to be on this road and so on and so on.  Once she calmed herself she was able to enjoy the passing cargo train and then we got a close up of the dam.  Really not big stuff here but it brought back memories of when we would ride our bikes in this area and do 25-50 miles.  So we were able to share all this cool stuff with our kids and they were just glued to their seats with excitement.  Our next adventure is just waiting for us and I can't wait to claim it as ours. 

Checking In

I know it has been over a month since I lasted posted on here and I know this because my family keeps pointing this out to me.  My girl thinks that you guys might think that I have died since I just stopped.  Yes this is a little dramatic but just in case you were wondering I thought I better get back to it.  Denis just thought that I might be done.  Honestly the holidays were a little to much for me, working more and sleeping less so when I would typically sit down and visit my blog that is when I was sleeping.  What I have come to realize with this little break I took is that my family likes my blog, they enjoy getting a little peak at my take on things and my biggest fan is my girl.  So I am not going anywhere and I hope you keep checking in to see how we are doing. 

I do hope that every one's holidays were the best!!  This year it is all a blur and I am happy to say that we are getting back to our regular routine of things.  Routine for us is soccer, basketball, speed and agility training and band.  Oh that is just my girl.  We might have over done it a little this winter.  We have always taken pride in the fact that we only did one activity at a time and then BAM we are in four things and having to be careful we don't wear our soccer uniform to basketball, it could happen.  My girl likes to be challenged but this has challenged all of us and I have to say it has been a learning experience.  Ok learning experience, really I think all we have learned is that we were not to smart in planning this winter.  My girl is getting stronger and I totally wish I was the one doing the speed and agility training.  She is doing a hard core boot camp and honestly I don't think I could even keep up with her but I would  love to get that kind of training.  Someone to guide my workout and be accountable to.  The neat thing about this training is she is learning that her body is capable of becoming faster and stronger, a concept that I don't think she truly understood before, giving her a confidence about herself that she didn't have.  So I call that success.